It was nearly summer when Andy B. and I returned to Prescott, Arizona, renting a mobile home in Prescott Valley. Cindy was finishing her final year of high school and we settled into a comfortable routine. Andy was able to get innovating work with a young company working on solar panel designs and I worked part-time at a health food store. Prescott Valley was located just 10 minutes from the Prescott National Forest with its hills and lakes and hiking trails. I made weekly pilgrimages to Lynx Lake, walking the trails and climbing majestic red rocks to sit on peaks where I would close my eyes and soak in the spirit of the Native American culture that roamed had these hills.

Coming back one day from an inspiring hike among the red rocks I received a letter from Peace. She had written about two retreats she was planning to lead in Pennsylvania later in the year and asking if I could join her to help out. I sent my enthusiastic agreement by return mail. I was excited to tell Peace about our adventures in Haiti and had so many questions for her. I waited in excited anticipation for an answer to my letter but none came. Then a letter arrived that said: “Have you heard the sad news of Peace Pilgrim? She was killed in an auto accident a month ago.”

Overcome With Grief

I was in disbelief. It must be a mistake. It was inconceivable… Knowing and spending time with Peace over the past few years had brought me a sense of direction and rightness about life. Now a part of me felt lost.

At work the next day I couldn’t stop the tears from spilling down my cheeks. I was sent home with kind words to take as much time as I needed. It felt as though everything I thought I knew had broken into pieces and I needed to figure out how to put it all back together.

Andy Z. flew out to join us in our grief and disbelief. Peace’s departure seemed surreal, like time had stopped. My thoughts kept going back to the islands we had visited with Peace. A few days later, with Andy B.’s support, Andy Z. and I flew to Maui, one of the islands we had visited with Peace in 1980, while Andy B. stayed back to be with Cindy and maintain his work. When AZ and I arrived at the airport in Maui we rented a car and a few miles away found a little cottage with private adjoining rooms for lease near the ocean. We rented it and separated into our spaces. After unloading our bags we drove back to the airport to turn the car in and walk “home.”

The cottage was nestled into a private little cove with a plumeria tree on one side of the porch and a papaya tree on the other. Each morning I would go out and pick a fresh plumeria blossom for my hair from one tree and a papaya for breakfast from the other. Andy Z. fasted for the entire time and remained mostly alone in silence. I entered into my own silent retreat – walking the beach in early morning hours and speaking only when necessary.

The days melted into each other as I roamed in solitude on white sandy beaches that stretched for miles in either direction. I would go out each morning in a bathing suit and shorts in the mild balmy weather, carrying fruit and water. In the late afternoon I would carry home groceries and supplies from a small store in a nearby town and check on AZ. The days were precious, full of insights, unexpected experiences and healing.

Cheryl Canfield, CCHT, 2024